COVER GIRL ELISHA CUTHBERT The star of this month’s Girl Next Door describes her trashy Maxim underwear and what it’s like to make love to a box…not that we don’t already know what that’s like. High five!
WE WANT ANSWERS! COLIN QUINN Comedy Central’s funnyman fires off on psycho knife-wielding groupies, the benefits of being an ugly loser, and why he doesn’t drink. A sober Irishman? Now that’s funny. Almost as funny as a sober comedian!
THE JUNGLE BOOK MAXIM FOR MONKEYS Maxim works hard to reflect its readership. That’s why we made this special inside issue, covering entertainment, sex, and feces-throwing. Or, to put it another way: Ook-ook-ook! Eeeeee!
AMERICA’S SWEETHEART HOMETOWN HOTTIES WINNER America’s got the hottest women and the greatest democracy in the world. Maxim put ’em together to give you the only contest that lets average Joes choose the country’s sexiest girl-next-door from thousands of stunning online applicants. Men, meet your First Lady.
APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION SUMMER OF FIRE The Earth Liberation Front isn’t your everyday group of tree-huggers. These ecoterrorists are fueled by fire, and they’re prepared to save the planet, even if that means burning it to the ground. Maxim takes you inside the war being fought in your own backyard.
INTO THE WILD STAYIN’ ALIVE When man and Mother Nature go head-to-head, man usually takes one for the team. But our ultimate survival guide will show you how to escape five certain-death scenarios with your balls still intact. And by “intact” we mean firmly in your girl’s grasp, sissy.
ALL THE RIGHT MOVES NIKKI BOKAL This deliciously proportioned model says she’s so good in bed she’ll make you wanna…propose. Ha! Yeah, right, honey. We’ll be the judge of that. But no woman could possib—Hey, where the heck is she going?
CIRCUS MAXIMUS GET SMOKED! Dead bodies aged to tasty man-jerky perfection.
MAXIM WORLDWIDE JORDAN England makes up for generations of pale, snaggle-toothed, cockney drunken cows with one—well, two—fell swoops. Meet the U.K.’s Pam Anderson. Oi!
HOW TO TAKE A PUNCH Plus: Nearly electrocute yourself installing an outlet!
I WAS THERE THE FALLS GUY Kirk Jones leapt into Niagara Falls to end his life…and walked away. What he learned might change your life.
SAYS HER GIRL-ON-GIRL GLORY! Women who love women are the true sex gurus. Lucky for you, we know one of ’em.
SPORTS THE FIXER Benny Silman’s NCAA point-shaving scam was foolproof…until the Feds found out.
HOT ZONE BIG PIMPIN’ Snoop Dogg takes on the classic ’70s role as Huggy Bear in this month’s remake of Starsky and Hutch.
MAXIM FASHION CLASS OF ’04 RULZ! The latest playground looks for jocks and nerds alike fill our yearbook-style spread, taking you back to your days as a zit-faced virgin.
TOP GEAR HIGH-TECH PLUG-INS An electric bike, a digital guitar, and wooden headphones. Wood, eh? What’ll they think of next?
BAR EXAM ARE YOU GOING TO JAIL? Our quiz will tell you. And editor James McHeidenry discusses his personal battle with the “Irish curse.”
Looking for an article from a past issue?Just pick your poison
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